The Young Han Solo Spin-off Is A Bad Idea

Well, the day has arrived.

I'm not excited about a Star Wars movie.


Now, you might be thinking that I have very slim pickings when it comes to upcoming Star Wars films, but what a lot of people don't realize is that there's much more on the way. We got The Force Awakens, we're getting Episodes VII and IX, right?

Nope.

Disney, in its infinite wisdom, decided that its acquisition of Lucasfilm would come with a trilogy of films, and a trilogy of (supposedly) unconnected spin-offs. So we're not getting Episode VII, wait two years, Episode VIII, wait two years, and Episode IX (and then more trilogies, for eternity). Instead, we're getting a Star Wars film every year. The first spin-off, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (and you thought "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" was too much), is landing in theatres this December. That one I'm actually looking forward to, because the director is solid, the cast is great, and the idea is cool.


But even that idea doesn't really need to be a movie. It could be a book, or a comic series, or some other medium (Netflix mini-series, anyone?). It's a movie because they want to make money, and that's kind of sad. Then again, Star Wars has always been about making money to a certain extent, which I'm fine with. Disney is running a business, and they're trying to make it successful.

Because if there's one thing that's never made money, it's Star Wars.

Before The Force Awakens, I wanted all Star Wars all the time, and I'm salivating at the very thought of Episode VIII after the perfection that was Episode VII. But now I've relaxed a very, very tiny bit, stepped away from the hype, and started looking at the bigger picture.

And there's a pretty big wrinkle in that picture.

That wrinkle is the Han Solo spin-off film, coming in 2018. From the beginning, I thought that this was a bad idea. What I want from this new age of Star Wars is to see something new. Even though Rogue One takes place between Episodes III and IV, it's focusing on a story and characters that we haven't really seen. Plus, one of those characters is played by Mads Mikkelsen, so it'll be great.


Let's start with the recently released actor shortlist, because pretty much everything about it is wrong. I don't really care about physical appearances, but that's a huge issue. Han Solo is one of the most beloved film characters of all time, and people know his face, and his voice. People know Harrison Ford, so I feel like seeing anyone else play Han Solo will feel like someone pretending.

I mean, Ford already played a young Han Solo. And he did it for a whole trilogy.

None of these people are necessarily bad actors, just bad choices for Han Solo. I really do hope that they don't go for one of the more recognizable actors on the list, because they don't really need to sell a Star Wars movie with recognizable actors, right? People will see a Star Wars movie because it has "Star Wars" on it. If anything, more unknown actors are good for Star Wars, because if someone like Bradley Cooper showed up, it would be super distracting. Of all of the actors on the list, I'd want Emory Cohen or  Blake Jenner, because I know nothing about them, which leaves them more open to surprise me.

When it was announced that this was happening, I had a couple of ideas for who I wanted to see. Chris Pratt was at the top of my list, but he's already playing Han Solo in Guardians of the Galaxy (and also kind of in Jurassic World). A lot of people also want this actor named Anthony Ingruber to play Han, because he looks a lot like a young Harrison Ford, and even played a young Harrison Ford in Age of Adaline. But I saw a video of him doing a Han Solo impression, and it sucks. If they were to get him, let him do his own thing. The worst thing an actor could do as Han Solo would be just an impression. I think the best choice would be Taron Egerton, who showed a lot of promise in Kingsman. He's got the action and the comedy bits down well, and if he could nail an American accent, he'd be great.

The actor isn't the problem with the Han Solo movie, the idea is. One of my favourite things about Star Wars is that everything isn't explained (prequels notwithstanding). Han Solo was a guy that Obi-Wan and Luke met in a bar because they needed a pilot. That's where his story begins. We don't need to know what happened before, because it feels like they're telling us things that we don't need to know. That's the biggest problem with the now (thankfully) defunct Expanded Universe, that everything had pages upon pages of unnecessary backstory and explanation. If you want a good laugh, read the Wookieepedia article on Darth Vader's suit. It's so hilariously detailed, it's just ridiculous.

I mean, they talk about what type of glove Vader wears on his right hand. WHO WROTE ALL THAT?

With a young Han Solo film, which Lucasfilm has confirmed will take place about ten years before A New Hope, they're not moving forward. If anything, Disney is taking the franchise in a big step backwards. The Force Awakens had many moments of nostalgia by hearkening back to the original trilogy, but people could connect to that because the timeline of the Star Wars universe is matched up with the timeline of our world. People grew up with these characters, and now we're seeing their stories continue.

Here's the problem: Han Solo's story is done.

Han Solo died. Like, next level died. He is impaled-on-a-lightsaber-falling-into-a-bottomless-pit-in-a-planet-which-turned-into-a-sun level dead. A very rare level of dead to achieve, and he did it. That emotion was brutal to deal with, and it was a perfectly executed scene.

So there's nowhere to go now.

People don't need to see any more Han Solo. We saw him come back after all these years and give a perfect performance. Why would we want to go back and see what happened to him before we met him in the series? That all doesn't matter.

Do I want to get as much Star Wars as possible? Of course. But now I'm not just blindly fanboying, saying "I WANT A STAR WARS MOVIE EVERY DAY". Too much of a good thing does exist, I mean, look at Marvel, Their stuff is starting to get a bit stale, and they really need to change it up. Star Wars just came back, and they came back with six movies planned. That just seems like a bit too much planning. Star Wars is a very simple thing, and doesn't need to be this big, overarching story. You can tell all sorts of stories in the Star Wars galaxy, but why over-saturate it?

I'm not trying to say that I think all Star Wars spin-off films are shameless cash-ins that can do no good, because that's simply not true. The main trilogies are focused around the Jedi, and the Force, and the Skywalker lineage. It's cool that we're getting films to show different sides of the galaxy, because that galaxy has so much potential.

But this isn't a direction that they need to go in. They should branch off in directions we've never seen. They should bring in new talent and show off new things. I've had my fill of nostalgia with Star Wars.

In conclusion, this blog post isn't going to stop this Star Wars Story from happening. I actually don't know that anything can. Who knows, maybe it'll be good? Phil Lord and Chris Miller are directing it, and they've never made anything bad. They know how to make a fun, fan-pleasing movie, so maybe they're the perfect choice.

But as of right now, I don't want it to happen. I want Disney to just forget about this idea and move on.

Don't make a Boba Fett movie either. Boba Fett is an idiot. A Captain Phasma spin-off would be better.

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